Responding to a wedding invitation may seem straightforward, but in reality, RSVP etiquette plays a significant role in helping couples plan their big day. Whether you accept with excitement or graciously decline, the way you RSVP impacts catering numbers, seating charts, and even the overall flow of the wedding. This guide will walk you through exactly how to RSVP to a wedding—from understanding the invitation format to avoiding common mistakes. You’ll learn proper etiquette, tips for responding on time, and how to navigate tricky guest list situations like plus ones or declines.
Understanding the RSVP Invitation
Before you respond, it’s important to understand what an RSVP is and why couples include it with their invitation.
What Is an RSVP and Why It Matters
RSVP stands for the French phrase “Répondez, s’il vous plaît,” meaning “Please respond.” When a couple includes an RSVP card or link, they’re requesting confirmation of your attendance—something they must finalize with their caterer, venue, and other vendors. Without timely responses, a couple might over-order food, underprepare for seating, or face last-minute stress.
Types of Wedding RSVP Requests
- Physical RSVP Cards: Paper cards included with the invitation, often pre-addressed and stamped for your convenience.
- Digital RSVPs: Links or QR codes leading to a wedding website form.
- Hybrid: Both a paper RSVP and digital option, giving guests flexibility in how they respond.
Common RSVP Components
Most wedding RSVPs ask you for:
- Your full name(s)
- Accept or decline selection
- Meal choices (if applicable)
- Guest count (if plus ones or children are invited)
- The RSVP deadline
How to Correctly RSVP to a Wedding
Read the Invitation Carefully The couple may include specifics such as:
- A preferred method of RSVP
- A dress code reminder
- Whether children or plus ones are invited
- Deadlines for responding
Skipping these details can lead to RSVP mistakes.
2. Respond by the Deadline
Most couples set RSVP deadlines 3–4 weeks before the wedding to secure catering numbers and create seating charts. Responding late can cause logistical headaches.
3. How to Fill Out an RSVP Card
Follow the format provided:
- Write full names as requested (e.g., “Mr. John Smith” instead of “John”).
- Clearly check Accepts or Declines.
- If applicable, indicate meal choices for each attending guest.
- Avoid crossing out pre-printed words unless you’re correcting an error.
4. How to RSVP Online
Digital RSVPs are quick and often provide instant confirmation.
- Click the provided link or scan the QR code.
- Complete all required fields.
- Look for a confirmation screen or email to ensure your RSVP was received.
RSVP Etiquette Essentials
Being a thoughtful guest means more than just saying “yes” or “no.”
Only Respond If Invited
Every couple builds their guest list intentionally. If your name is the only one listed, this usually means no plus one unless specifically noted.
Handling Multiple Invitations
Couples sometimes send separate invitations to parents and adult children in the same household. RSVP separately for each invitation unless told otherwise.
Respect the Tone
If the invitation is formal (e.g., calligraphy, traditional wording), match that tone in your response. For more casual weddings, responses can be warm but should remain respectful.
Common RSVP Mistakes to Avoid
- Missing the deadline
- Failing to specify “accept” or “decline” clearly
- Adding uninvited guests
- Leaving meal choices blank (if required)
- Using vague language like “maybe” – always give a definite answer
What to Include in Your RSVP
A polished RSVP typically contains:
- Full Names and Titles – Especially for formal weddings.
- Acceptance or Regret – Clearly indicate yes or no.
- Guest or Children Count – Only if invited.
- Meal Selections – If the couple has offered options.
- Special Requests – Dietary requirements or accessibility needs.
- Optional Notes – Song suggestions or kind messages, if a space is provided.
Plus Ones, Children, and Special Requests
When Is a +1 Appropriate?
If the invitation states “and Guest,” you may bring one. No mention means no additional guest, even for significant others, unless clarified.
Properly Indicating Guests or Kids
- Write the name of your guest in full, not “Guest.”
- For children, list names individually if they are invited.
If No +1 or Kids Are Mentioned
Don’t assume—contact the couple or planner discretely for clarification rather than making the call yourself.
RSVP Deadlines: Why They Matter
Typical RSVP Timelines
Couples need responses about a month before the big day to finalize headcounts.
Why Timely Responses Are Crucial
- Catering Orders: Final food quantities must be confirmed.
- Seating Arrangements: Tables are organized around confirmed guests.
- Budget Control: Each guest represents a financial commitment.
Changing Your RSVP
If you must change your plans after RSVPing:
- Inform the couple immediately.
- Apologize, especially for late withdrawals.
- Keep changes to a minimum unless truly necessary.
How to Politely Decline a Wedding Invitation
Declining doesn’t have to feel awkward.
Tips for Gracefully Declining:
- Respond as soon as possible.
- Use warm, appreciative wording (e.g., “We are so honored to be invited…”).
- Avoid over-explaining—share only if comfortable.
Sending Wishes
Even if you can’t attend, consider sending:
- A handwritten card
- A small gift
- A congratulatory message on their wedding day
Tips for Making the RSVP Process Stress-Free
- Use Provided Tools – QR codes and wedding websites simplify responses.
- Double-Check Before Sending – Review the names, selections, and spelling.
- Ask Questions Early – If unsure about a detail, reach out to the couple well before the deadline.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I bring a guest if not listed?
No—unless “and Guest” is written on your invitation.
2. How do I RSVP if I got multiple invites?
Respond to each one separately; couples sometimes send different versions for different parts of the wedding (like rehearsal dinners).
3. What if I miss the RSVP deadline?
Respond immediately and apologize. The couple may have already finalized numbers, so be understanding if attendance isn’t possible.
4. Is it okay to use nicknames on the RSVP?
For casual weddings, nicknames may be fine. For formal events, use full legal names unless told otherwise.
Conclusion
RSVPing to a wedding is more than just ticking a box—it’s about showing respect for the couple’s time, budget, and effort. By reading the invitation carefully, responding promptly, and following etiquette guidelines, you help ensure the couple’s day goes as smoothly as possible.
Bottom line: Whether you’re saying “yes” with joy or “no” with love, respond clearly and on time. Your courtesy directly contributes to the success of one of the most important days of someone’s life.
